by Benny Lorie
With Christmas less than 24 hours away, I have been doing a lot of thinking (well besides the fact, that holy reindeer batman, you mean to tell me that x cost this much, well there goes my chance to buy a sports car, and what I mean by sports car I mean a toy hot wheel) that every child wants that special toy out there on the market, or that priceless diamond that every woman wants to have (so if you do get it for her you do more than just kiss under the mistletoe) (Santa wink) or that toolbox that every guy wants so he can be a handyman around the house (or in my case, my toolbox collecting dust cause I never use mine) so in the last 48
hours I’ve been thinking what can I write about in my blog, and than it dawned upon me why don’t I compel my version of a Christmas list, but not just any list, no no no no no, thee best Christmas list for the soflo sports fan out there, so with that I have come up with my top 5 things that I want for Christmas, and later in my writing my top 5 naughty or nice list of the people in soflo , and with that lets start the countdown.
Top 5 things that I want for Christmas (Soflo sports edition)
1. No death penalty for the U! – after all the hoopla that went down in coral gables in the last 7 years or so (maybe more) the university of Miami football program is in jeopardy after whistle
blower Nevin Shperio decided to quote Harrison ford from clear and present danger “If I go down your coming with me” the u has been hit with a NCAA infestation of detective work to determine what kind of punishment they will get, and with reports swirling around from bowl ban to even death penalty, we truly don’t know what we will get. On a lighter note I just saved a bunch on my car insurance by switching to geico
2. No more dumb draft picks by the Dolphins!-The Miami dolphins have had countless decisions of dumb draft picks in the post Shula era. From the 1996 pick where they could’ve gotten ray lewis but
instead settled for daryl gardner , the 98 draft where they could’ve gotten randy moss but instead settled for john avery, to the 05 draft where they could’ve gotten aaron rogers but instead settled for Ronnie brown, to the 07 draft where they could’ve gotten Patrick willis, marshawn lynch, Darrelle revis, Dwayne Bowe, Greg Olson, but instead settled for Ted gin (cough bust more cough) to well you get the picture. Hay speaking of draft picks and the Dolphins that leads me to #3…..
3. Pick a QB in the 1st round for the love of jebsus! – Ok so not only have the Dolphins had countless dumb draft picks, but they also have had 16 players start in the QB position since
ol Danny boy Dan Marino retired ( or as I call it force him to retire so we don’t have a brett farve) folks 16 as lebron would put it not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, not 5, (well you get the point) but 16 different qb’s starting for the dolphins and heres the list #1 Damon huard, #2 Jay Fiedler, #3 Sage Rosenfelds, #4 Ray Lucus, #5 Brian Griese, #6 A.J. Feeley, #7 Gus Frerotte, #8 Daunte Culpepper, #9 Joey Harrington, #10 Cleo Lemon, #11 Trent Green, #12 John Beck, #13 Chad Pennington, #14 Chad Henne, #15 Tyler Thigpen, #16 Matt Moore (and most of these guys are nfl analyst on TV) (by the way
is there a Dan Marino curse, hummmmm, but anywho with that being said please pick a QB in the 1st round not only that the right QB.
4. Miami Heat win a NBA Title!- The Miami heat last season socked the world and changed the free agent landscape by landing 3 of the top 5 free agents available Lebron, Bosh, & Wade (the N.W.O.)
but between the heat getting all three lebron self proclaiming that he’ll win not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, not 5, not 6, not 7 titles and his espn special the decision the heat became public enemy #1 in the league. And when the heat lost to the Mavericks in the finals, a lot of folks felt that they failed ( and the people who thought that were all of Cleveland, and drunken idiots at your local bar) they truly didn’t I have said this countless times that I felt that they weren’t going to win the NBA title last season. You can’t win a NBA title in your first season when you only have 5 of the 15 guys returning back to the team its just not going to happened they did have a successful season to me cause they made it to the finals I thought they were just gonna go as far as the coference finals, but they proved me
wrong. I did say thet this would be the year that heat’s NWO would win there 1st NBA title as a group. So with that let the hating begin.
5. The Miami Marlins make the postseason!- Alright folks upper management struck gold when they didn’t have to pay rent but rather a mortgage bill as they got brand new land to build there own
stadium. As well they did say they were going to make waves, and they did by picking up Ozzie Guillen
as there new Marlins Manager, oh and when they (again I’m talking bout upper management) said they were gonna make splashes in free agents people still smirked well they did just that, by getting Jose Reyes, Heath Bell, and Mark Buehrle, and with a solid starting lineup and a solid bullpen the marlins look like they can make the dance to October.
Now with that list done I have snuck into Santa office, and I found his naughty or nice list of all the sports figures in Soflo he had 5 of each and here they are…..
Naughty: And who they can be nice again:
1. David Stern- He just needs to stop being greedy
2. The Miami dolphins front office- just pick the right G.M. and the right coach we have had 9 different head coaches and 7 of them since 1996
3. Jeff Ireland-don’t throw the head coach under the bus cause your just as much fault over the record as ex head coach tony soprano (I just like calling his last name like that) was
4. Stephen Ross- Ok this is very simple just do your damm job
5. Jerry Sandusky & Bernie Fine- simple stay in jail for a very very long time
Nice And why they got there:
1. Jeffrey Loria- Well he said they were gonna make a splash this offseason and well that’s what they did. Enough said
2. AL Golden- He has done a great job considering the fact that he came into this team and not knowing that the NCAA crap was gonna come down oh him.
Plus he stays and gets a contract extension verses leaving.
3. Reggie Bush- well people thought that you weren’t a everyday down back and well quite frankly you have shut up your critics.
4. Chris Paul- Yes I know he’s not related to a team in SOFLO, however he is very patient in what had happened to him during this last offseason that just past. So good for him going to L.A. Clippers. Can you say LOBCITY.
5. The Miami Heat- Well for starters extending Erik Spoelstra contract, as Heat President Pat Riley put it he is the right coach for this job. And secondly by the end of this season the Miami Heat will be the NBA champions